Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a fucked day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "arse", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually destroy.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces shafted and screwed challenges like never before. Our economy is betrayed. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for fucks. Our healthcare system is useless. If your mind is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a corrupt politician. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a crap economy. But jerking off together we can right this ship, and set a course for hell.

Finally, I must thank my red family, my hot campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank niggers for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of fucking the American people. Without your worthless efforts, none of this would have been possible.