CALORIES OF SEX

It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now
nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different
sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research we are
proud to present the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent..................... 12 Calories
Without her consent...............187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands...................... 8 Calories
With one hand...................... 12 Calories
With your teeth..................... 85 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection....................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.............. 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris............. 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot......... 92 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary.............................. 12 Calories
69 lying down........................ 78 Calories
69 standing up.................... 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow...................... 216 Calories
Doggy Style........................ 326 Calories
Italian chandelier................. 912 Calories
In the office...................... 1375 Calories

ORGASMING:
Real............................. 112 Calories
False............................ 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Falling asleep...................................... 2 Calories
Lying in bed hugging......................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately...................... 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed ..816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years old................... 36 Calories
30-39years.......................... 80 Calories
40-49years........................ 124 Calories
50-59years........................ 972 Calories
60-69years...................... 2916 Calories
70 and over......... Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly............................ 32 Calories
In a hurry........................ 98 Calories
Father knocking at the door..... 1218 Calories
Wife knocking at the door....... 3521 Calories