Wesley Willis Lyrics

As of February 2002, this page will no longer be updated. I am off my Wesley Willis kick. Thank you for all your support and contributions. -Mike

"I just love to play rock and roll. I love to write songs all the time about what's up on these streets. I write songs about people getting killed; I write songs about people getting beaten up; I write songs about people getting taken to jail by the police; and I also write songs about love and happiness."
     -Wesley Willis

WARNING: This site contains language that some may find explicit, vulgar, and/or obscene. If you do not wish to read such language, please hit the "back" button on your browser now.



Legend:

Red Text = Lyrics I am unsure of, but have made the best guess. Please email me with any corrections.
?? (Bold red question marks) = I honestly have no idea what he's trying to say here, so I'm not even gonna try! Help me out, folks!
Green Text = Corrected lyrics submitted by a reader. Click on the text to see the acknowledgment.

2 x 4

Found on Rush Hour

Thank God for how I'm learning how to live
That's the ticket
That's the way of the world
That's the spirit

2 x 4
2 x 4
2 x 4
2 x 4
I'm going to hit you with a 2 x 4

Johnny Rotten hit me upside the head with a billy club
He also knocked me to the ground
He also shot me with his BB gun

2 x 4
2 x 4
2 x 4
2 x 4
I'm going to hit you with a 2 x 4

The electric eel shocked the hell out of me
He also blew me out of the water
He did, thanks to his ass

2 x 4
2 x 4
2 x 4
2 x 4
I'm going to hit you with a 2 x 4

Pontiac, we build excitement

Aftab Noorani

Found on Rock Power and Greatest Hits

You are a nice doctor
You are my grateful one
You are my man
You are the greatest

Aftab Noorani
Aftab Noorani
Aftab Noorani
Aftab Noorani

You gave me a shot of Prolixin
You are calming me down
I like you a lot
I like you well

Aftab Noorani
Aftab Noorani
Aftab Noorani
Aftab Noorani

You've discharged me from the hospital
I'm so glad to be free
After staying in the hospital five days, I was discharged from the unit
Suddenly, I am a free man

Aftab Noorani
Aftab Noorani
Aftab Noorani
Aftab Noorani

The heartbeat of America, that's today's Chevrolet

Agent Orange

Found on Black Light Diner

This old school punk band played at the Metro
About 950 people were at the show
The jam session was awesome
It wupped the wildcat's ass

Agent Orange
Agent Orange
Agent Orange
Agent Orange

The old school punk band played on
The old school punk band stormed the stage
The crowd roared like a tidal wave
The old school punk jam session whooped the wildcat's ass

Agent Orange
Agent Orange
Agent Orange
Agent Orange

The old school punk show was over at last
A lot of people met the old school punk band
The old school punk jam session was a joyride
It was a great punk show at the Metro

Agent Orange
Agent Orange
Agent Orange
Agent Orange

The Exclusive Company, save with me

Al Capone

Found on Greatest Hits Vol. 2

Al Capone was a hoodlum
He was a gangster
He kills people in gangland style
He is a stupid asshole
He is full of shit

Al Capone
Al Capone
Al Capone
Al Capone

Al Capone gunned down my brother
He killed him with an Uzi submachine gun
He plugged twenty bullets in him
He stole his hotrod

Al Capone
Al Capone
Al Capone
Al Capone

Al Capone beat two men to death with a baseball bat
He smashed both of them over the head
At the age of 46, he was a stupid jackass
Al Capone is a no-good asshole

Al Capone
Al Capone
Al Capone
Al Capone

Wal-Mart, it's always the low price. Always

Alanis Morissette

Found on Fabian Road Warrior

You are a rock star
You are a rock legend to the max
You can really knock it out
You can really wupp a horse's ass

Alanis Morissette
Alanis Morissette
Alanis Morissette
Alanis Morissette

You are a rocking maniac
You are a singing hyena
You are a rock star in Jesus' name
You can really rock Saddam Hussein's ass

Alanis Morissette
Alanis Morissette
Alanis Morissette
Alanis Morissette

You are my sweet woman to the end
You are my honey lover to the max
You are my sweetheart for years to come
You are so lovable to me in the long run

Alanis Morissette
Alanis Morissette
Alanis Morissette
Alanis Morissette

Taco Bell, make a run for the border

Alice in Chains

Found on Feel the Power

This grunge rock band played at the Palladium in Hollywood, California
About 200 people were at the show
The jam session was awesome
It whipped a horse's ass

Alice in Chains
Alice in Chains
Alice in Chains
Alice in Chains

The grunge rock band played it on
The grunge rock band got down on stage
The crowd roared like a lion
The jam session whipped a horse's ass

Alice in Chains
Alice in Chains
Alice in Chains
Alice in Chains

The grunge rock show was over at last
A lot of people met the grunge rock band
The jam session was a success
It was a great show at the Palladium in Hollywood, California

Alice in Chains
Alice in Chains
Alice in Chains
Alice in Chains

The Sports Authority, it's America's sporting goods mega-store

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Found on Never Kill an Ape, Rev. Norb #2 and Greatest Hits Vol. 2

You are my favorite movie star
You are my big buddy
You are a low down rotten man
You are crazy like a roll lizard

Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger

You are the greatest
You are my kind of guy
You are my buddy
You are my main man

Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger

I love your movies
I love you too
You are the best man that I have ever liked
You are my rich man
You are my big millionaire

Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger

Wheaties, breakfast of champions

Beat My Ass

Found on New York, New York

Hit me in my face
Hit me with your fist
Clobber me with a stick
Beat the hell out of me as I mess up

Beat my ass
Beat my ass
Beat my ass
Beat my ass

Clock me in the head
Throw me against the wall and bruise me up
Give me a black eye
Thrash the hell out of me

Beat my ass
Beat my ass
Beat my ass
Beat my ass

Take me to an alleyway
Give me a life-threatening hellride
Knock my freaking head off
Tear me limb from limb

Beat my ass
Beat my ass
Beat my ass
Beat my ass

White Castle, it's what you crave

Ben Wigman

Found on Wesley Willis

You are living in a doggy dog world
You are wearing MilkBone underwear
You like eating MilkBone dog biscuits
You are my ?? spaniel

Ben Wigman
Ben Wigman
Ben Wigman
Ben Wigman

You are a good dog
I like petting you
You are my wonderful tire
You are nobody's clam

Ben Wigman
Ben Wigman
Ben Wigman
Ben Wigman

You bark a lot
I wish you'd shut your whooping ass up
I wish you'd keep your trap shut
So shut your whooping ass up

Ben Wigman
Ben Wigman
Ben Wigman
Ben Wigman

Dennis Sportshop, it's everything in sporting goods

Bill Clinton

Found on Rock Power

You are so nice to me
You are on my side
You are the man with the midas touch
You are on my side with the midas touch

Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton

You are the man who has the plans
You have the ability to put people to work
You are the president of the United States
I like you a lot and I will award you

Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton

You are so nice to me
A lot of people across the US work for you
You are so great in the long run
You are on my side at last

Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton

Guitar Center, it's the musician's choice

Birdman Kicked My Ass

Birdman kicked my ass

Found on Mr. Magoo Goes to Jail Vol. 3 and Greatest Hits Vol. 2

Birdman caught me on his property
He saw me trespassing his real estate
He reached into his pocket for a pistol
He came after me and pistol-whipped my behind

Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass

Birdman beat me to a pulp
He gave me a yell-down war hell ride
He told me that he was going to kill me if I don't get off his real estate
He gave five minutes to get in my Bronco and hit the rookie road

Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass

At 10:00 PM, I drove my Bronco back to Birdman's real estate
I jumped over his fence after dark
I picked up a brick and shattered Birdman's window pane
Birdman sighted me doing it and reached for his pistol
Suddenly, I jumped back in my Bronco and took off like O. J. Simpson

Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass
Birdman kicked my ass

Heinz, it's America's favorite ketchup

Bolt Thrower

Found on Prisonshake and Rock 'n' Roll Will Never Die

This band played at the City Centre Theater
About one thousand people watched the show
The concert was a jam session
It was a kick ass rock show

Bolt Thrower
Bolt Thrower
bolt thrower
Bolt Thrower

The band played it on the screen
It really rocked our socks off
The crowd roared like a lion
They can really rock it like a magickist

Bolt Thrower
Bolt Thrower
Bolt Thrower
Bolt Thrower

The show was awesome
A lot of people met the band
The concert was a rock show

Bolt Thrower can really knock it out

Bolt Thrower
Bolt Thrower
Bolt Thrower
Bolt Thrower

Walgreens, it's the pharmacy America trusts

Bushwick Bill

Found on Rock Power

You are a gangster rapper
You are a gangster rap artist
You can really knock it out
You can really whip a camel's ass

Bushwick Bill
Bushwick Bill
Bushwick Bill
Bushwick Bill

Keep on playing that gangster rap music
Groove it on the jack move
Rock it like a magickist
Rock harder like a magickist

Bushwick Bill
Bushwick Bill
Bushwick Bill
Bushwick Bill

Your gangster rap music is the willpower to our artwork
The music will harmonize me
The jam session keeps me on the move
Your gangster rap music will take me on a joyride

Bushwick Bill
Bushwick Bill
Bushwick Bill
Bushwick Bill

CompUSA, it's the computer superstore

The Chicken Cow

Found on New York, New York and Greatest Hits

This beast comes out when it is 25 degrees below zero
It can rip your head off
It can fly as high as a bird
It can bite your face

The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow

This beast killed as many as 100,000 people
Its wings can flap like a bird
It can break a glass
It can also stab you in the ass

The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow

This beast attacked my brother
It stabbed him in the ass while he was in the cold
His hands were frostbitten
His hands were also numb

The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow
The Chicken Cow

Blockbuster Video, wow, what a difference!

Chronic Schizophrenia

Found on Rush Hour and Greatest Hits

My mind plays tricks on me every time I say something
It brings evil voices out of my head, and talks to me vulgar
Then suddenly, I started raving

Chronic schizophrenia
Chronic schizophrenia
Chronic schizophrenia
Chronic schizophrenia

But when I have bad luck, I'll always hear evil voices talking to me vulgar
Everywhere I go riding on the CTA bus, all I hear is vulgarity
I hear no music at all

Chronic schizophrenia
Chronic schizophrenia
Chronic schizophrenia
Chronic schizophrenia

Riding in the streets with no music sucks
Everywhere I go, I cruise the streets being called an asshole
Plus I'm being ridiculed and called a bum and called stupid

Chronic schizophrenia
Chronic schizophrenia
Chronic schizophrenia
Chronic schizophrenia

Pontiac, we build excitement

Courtney Love

Found on Rock 'N' Roll Will Never Die and Daren Hacker

You are a rock star
You are a rock and roll legend
You are a good rock singer
You can really wupp a camel's ass

Courtney Love
Courtney Love
Courtney Love
Courtney Love

You are a talented girl
You are a rock and roll queen
You sing for the band Hole
You are a rock and roll woman

Courtney Love
Courtney Love
Courtney Love
Courtney Love

You are my sweetheart to the end
You are so sweet as Domino sugar
You are the girl of my dreams
You are so lovable to me in the long run

Courtney Love
Courtney Love
Courtney Love
Courtney Love

Raid, it kills bugs dead

Cut the Mullet

Found on SMD Promotions and Greatest Hits Vol. 2

Do something about your long, filthy hair
It looks like a rat's nest
Do something about your mullet
Get out the hair clippers, jerk

Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet

Get the rat's nest off your head
Get that crazy-ass mother off your skull
Take your ass to the barber shop
Tell the barber that you're sick of looking like an asshole

Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet

The mullet is the reason why people hate you
They are sick of looking at your nappy weed-sack
Nobody wants to look at you with that mullet on your head
Why don't you cut that mullet, you numbskull

Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet

Insure One, it's the insurance superstore

Dale Meiners Yelled at Me

Found on Black Light Diner

It's Saturday, March 9, 1996 at 1:00 PM
Me and my band went to Lawrence, Kansas to play a rock show
It was a two and a half hour trip
At 3:30 PM, me and my band pulled up by the Bottleneck at 737 New Hampshire Street

Dale Meiners yelled at me
Dale Meiners yelled at me
Dale Meiners yelled at me
Dale Meiners yelled at me

At 8:55 PM, me and my band ran a sound check for tonight's rock show
At 9:00 PM, about 400 people crowded the venue
Suddenly, me and my band got onstage and rocked the jam session
It was a great show

Dale Meiners yelled at me
Dale Meiners yelled at me
Dale Meiners yelled at me
Dale Meiners yelled at me

At 1:30 AM on March 10, 1996, I bragged about doing a keyboard solo show when I come back to town
Suddenly, Dale Meiners got mad at me
He yelled at me for dissing my band at 2:00 AM
He gave me a war hell ride by calling me a fucking asshole

Dale Meiners yelled at me
Dale Meiners yelled at me
Dale Meiners yelled at me
Dale Meiners yelled at me

The Home Depot, it's America's home improvement warehouse

Dave Grohl

Found on Fireman Rick and Rock 'n' Roll Will Never Die

You are a rock star
You are a rocking maniac
You can really sing your horse-wupping ass off
You can really whip a polar bear's ass

Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl

You are my buddy to the max
You are my friend to the friendly end
You are a nice friend
I like you fairly well

Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl

You are so handsome like Gretel
You are a good friend
You are on my side
You are on my side with the midas touch

Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl

Subway, it's the place where fresh is the taste

Don't Curse in God's House

Found on Wesley Willis

Once upon a time, I was cursing in Morning Star Baptist Church
I called the evangelist a stupid crucifuck
Reverend Richard Price preached about my vulgar language
He told the congregation in the sanctuary that I got a nasty filthy mouth

Don't curse in God's house
Don't curse in God's house
Don't curse in God's house
Don't curse in God's house

At this time, I told the preacher to fuck off
I told Reverend Richard Price to suck a male camel's dick
Suddenly, he ordered one of the deacons to throw me out of church
He then escorted me to the door

Don't curse in God's house
Don't curse in God's house
Don't curse in God's house
Don't curse in God's house

When I went to church that same Sunday, I picked up a beating stick
I went up to the pulpit and clocked Reverend Richard Price in the head
He fell to the floor
Suddenly, the police was chasing me out of church after I called the preacher an asshole

Don't curse in God's house
Don't curse in God's house
Don't curse in God's house
Don't curse in God's house

Hardees, we're out to win you over

Don't Drive Drunk

Found on Silver Fish Sea World

Drunk driving is no joke
It is no accident
Drunk driving can get you into a collision
It can also get you killed for the gravedigger

Don't drive drunk
Don't drive drunk
Don't drive drunk
Don't drive drunk

Drunk driving can get you arrested
Drunk driving can get you thrown in the metal clink
Drunk driving can make you pay a big fine
Drunk driving can get you sued

Don't drive drunk
Don't drive drunk
Don't drive drunk
Don't drive drunk

Drunk driving can cause a big accident
Drunk driving can lose you your life
Drunk driving can lose you your license
Don't drink and drive if you want to be alive

Don't drive drunk
Don't drive drunk
Don't drive drunk
Don't drive drunk

Xerox, it's the document company

Dumpster My Ass

Found on Dr. Wax

Pull out a .38 caliber revolver
Level it at my head
Tree my ass and plunder me of my cash money
Hit me with a gunshot

Dumpster my ass
Dumpster my ass
Dumpster my ass
Dumpster my ass

Plug me full of holes
Pump me full of lead
Gun me down in execution style
Throw my body in a ditch

Dumpster my ass
Dumpster my ass
Dumpster my ass
Dumpster my ass

Introduce me to my grave
Deprive me of my life
Snuff it out of me
Leave me dead in the alley

Dumpster my ass
Dumpster my ass
Dumpster my ass
Dumpster my ass

Aldi, it's the stock-up store

Easy E

Scream, Dracula, Scream!

You are an educated rapper
You can really rap your ass off
You can really knock it out
You are the greatest one of all

Eazy E
Eazy E
Eazy E
Eazy E

Keep on playing that rap music
Keep on moving on the jack move
Jam harder like a magikist
Rock harder like a magikist

Eazy E
Eazy E
Eazy E
Eazy E

Rock, rap and roll will never die
The music will pick you up
The jam session will rock your artwork
Rap, rock and roll will entertain your artistic talent

Eazy E
Eazy E
Eazy E
Eazy E

Diet Pepsi, uh-huh

Eat That Mule Shit

Found on Drag Disharmony Hell Ride

Suck a hyena's ass
Suck a racehorse's dick
Suck a cheetah's ass
Lick a horse's asshole

Eat that mule shit
Eat that mule shit
Eat that mule shit
Eat that mule shit

Suck a snow leopard's ass
Suck a mountain goat's dick
Suck a caribou's asshole out
Eat that antelope shit and die, jerk!

Eat that mule shit
Eat that mule shit
Eat that mule shit
Eat that mule shit

Suck a baboon's ass
Suck a male camel's dick
Suck a Doberman pincer's cock
Suck a reindeer's smelly ass, mothafucka!

Eat that mule shit
Eat that mule shit
Eat that mule shit
Eat that mule shit

Rent-a-center, it's the one store that has it all

Electra 225

Found on Rush Hour

Go jump in the lake
Make a fat man happy
I rock this motherfucking place apart
I will do just that with a cinch

Electra 225
Electra 225
Electra 225
Electra 225

John Snap hit me in the head with a bottle
Then he jumped into his rod
Before that, he overpowered me and hit me with a billy club
He did

Electra 225
Electra 225
Electra 225
Electra 225

When the police car pulled up, John Snap was arrested and taken to jail after he told the police officers to suck his dick
He was drunk like a drunkard
He was so motherfucking high
He was so motherfucking drunk like a drunkard

Electra 225
Electra 225
Electra 225
Electra 225

Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, it's the cheesiest

Electric Eel

Found on Rush Hour

God struck me down
He did it to me because I was playing with him
That teaches me a lesson not to do it again

Electric eel
Electric eel
Electric eel
Electric eel

John Dillinger got killed in 1930
He was assassinated for trying to rob a bank
He was carrying a gun

Electric eel
Electric eel
Electric eel
Electric eel

John Pole got mad at me, and hit me with a tire iron
He was so pissed off at me
He pulled out his tack, and gave me the shock of my life

Electric eel
Electric eel
Electric eel
Electric eel

Mitsubishi, the word is getting around

Elvis Presley

Found on Drag Disharmony Hell Ride and Greatest Hits

Elvis Presley was a rock star
He was the greatest
He can sing his ass off
Right on, brother

Elvis Presley
Elvis Presley
Elvis Presley
Elvis Presley

He is my greatest singer
He was my kind of guy
He can really rock
He can rock this place apart

Elvis Presley
Elvis Presley
Elvis Presley
Elvis Presley

That man can sing great
That was the tone of his voice
He can really get down
He can really get in the groove

Elvis Presley
Elvis Presley
Elvis Presley
Elvis Presley

Carquest, you're welcome to the pros

Feel the Power of Rock and Roll

Found on Metal Clink Punishment Jail and Greatest Hits Vol. 2

Play the rock guitar like a rock star
Rock the casbah like a hurricane
Rock and roll is my music for a joyride
Whip that werewolf with a belt

Feel the power of rock and roll
Feel the power of rock and roll
Feel the power of rock and roll
Feel the power of rock and roll

Play the Fender Strat guitar
Rock it to the Maxwell House
Rock it on the mic, homey!
Rock Saddam Hussein's ass to Russia

Feel the power of rock and roll
Feel the power of rock and roll
Feel the power of rock and roll
Feel the power of rock and roll

Play the rock solo as hard as you can in Woodstock, New York
Make the crowd of 300,000 people roar like a sea monster
Take everyone on a harmony joyride
Whip the hell out of that werewolf's ass

Feel the power of rock and roll
Feel the power of rock and roll
Feel the power of rock and roll
Feel the power of rock and roll

Packard Bell, it's the world's number one selling home computer

Firewall the Throttle

Found on Fabian Road Warrior and Rev. Norb #1

Drive the city bus down the street
Drive the school bus
Drive your hot rod
Drive your Lincoln Town Car down the parkway

Firewall the throttle
Firewall the throttle
Firewall the throttle
Firewall the throttle

Whip the speed limit up
Whip the miles up on the highway
Drive your car to Rockford, Illinois
Cruise the highway at a speed of fifty-five miles per hour

Firewall the throttle
Firewall the throttle
Firewall the throttle
Firewall the throttle

Drive the eighteen-wheeler on the roadway
Drive the gasoline truck
Drive your brains out
Drive the ?? bus and be a safe driver

Firewall the throttle
Firewall the throttle
Firewall the throttle
Firewall the throttle

United Audio Centers, shopping anywhere else is a compromise

The Foo Fighters

Foung on Fireman Rick and Rock 'n' Roll Will Never Die

This band played at the Metro
About 800 people were at the rock show
The jam session was awesome
It wupped a horse's ass

The Foo Fighters
The Foo Fighters
The Foo Fighters
The Foo Fighters

The band played it on
The band got down like a magickist
The crowd roared like a lion
The jam session wupped a tiger's ass

The Foo Fighters
The Foo Fighters
The Foo Fighters
The Foo Fighters

The rock show was over
A lot of people met the band
The jam session was awesome
It wupped a llama's ass real good

The Foo Fighters
The Foo Fighters
The Foo Fighters
The Foo Fighters

Burger King, get your burger's worth

Ford Windstar

Found on Rock Power

This van has some featuring options
It is a recreation van
I go across the city by driving around town
I love driving this mean machine

Ford Windstar
Ford Windstar
Ford Windstar
Ford Windstar

I drove this van to Green Bay, Wisconsin
I took my family on a camping trip
I drove 326 miles to Chicago
I was firewalling the throttle

Ford Windstar
Ford Windstar
Ford Windstar
Ford Windstar

I was cruising the highway
I was going eighty miles per hour
Suddenly, a Wisconsin state trooper pulled me over
He asked me to show my driver's license
After that, he let me go

Ford Windstar
Ford Windstar
Ford Windstar
Ford Windstar

Northwest Airlines, some people just know how to fly

The Frogs

Note: I have been told that this version of "The Frogs," which features the Wesley Willis Fiasco and the cool refrain, "I like them, they're my favorite band. . .", originally appeared on a 7-inch split with The Frogs, which would explain why Wesley says that they're "on this record on the other side." I believe this version also appears on Greatest Hits Vol. 2. According to the CDDB, "The Frogs" also appears on Atomic Records and SMD Promotions, but I don't believe it is this same version on those albums. If anyone knows for sure, email me.

This band played at the Empty Bottle
About 200 people were at the show
The jam session was awesome
It whipped a pony's ass!

The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs

The band played it on
The band got down like a magikist
The crowd roared like a lion
The jam session wupped a horse's ass!

The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs

The rock show was over at last
A lot of people met the band
The jam session was awesome
It whipped a jackass with a belt
It was a jam session

I like them
I like them
They're my favorite band in the whole wide world
They're fine dressers
They're nice guys
They're on this record on the other side

The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs
The Frogs

Arbys, different is good!

Rock Saddam Hussein's ass!

Fuck with Me And Find Out

Found on Rush Hour

You think you can get away with murder
You don't know who you're fooling with
I'm going to shoot you with my BB gun

Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out

Keep on with the shit
Keep on talking shit to me, and I will bust you in your chops
Plus I'm going to knock your block off

Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out

Gingerbread knocked me to the floor
He picked up a stick and hit me upside the head once and in the back six times
He also BB'ed me in the back with his BB gun

Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out
Fuck with me and find out

Diet Pepsi, uh-huh

Fuck You

Found on Greatest Hits Vol. 2

Let me find another job
It doesn't pay me enough money at all
I want a better one
I'm going to tell you this:

Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you

Take this job and shove it
I'm not working for you anymore
Stick it up your ass
Suck my damn dick, asshole!
Fuck your crummy ass, jerk!

Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you

Get your paws off me
Get the fuck away from me
Take your bullshit somewhere else
Jump into your hot rod and hit the road, asshole!

Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you

Diet Pepsi, uh-huh

Get on the Bus

Found on Rev. Norb #2. Note: another version of "Get on the Bus" appears on Spookydisharmoniusconflicthellride with the Wesley Willis Fiasco.

Let's ride the city bus
Let's ride it clean on the yellow line
Ride the circuit rapid transit
Ride it on the road to Utopia

Get on the bus
Get on the bus
Get on the bus
Get on the bus

The 22 Clark bus approached Fullerton Parkway
The city bus was ready to move
The passengers boarded the city bus
When the stoplight turned green, the 22 Clark bus took off

Get on the bus
Get on the bus
Get on the bus
Get on the bus

The 22 Clark bus passed me up
I picked up a rock and threw it at the bus
Then I called the bus driver a fucking jerk
I told him to suck a camel's ass and fuck off

Get on the bus
Get on the bus
Get on the bus
Get on the bus

Diet Pepsi, uh-huh

Get on the City Bus

Found on Feel the Power and Metal Clink Punishment Jail

Let's ride the city bus
Let's ride it clean on a roadblock
Grab the rapid transit subway
Grab the transit bus down the line

Get on the city bus
Get on the city bus
Get on the city bus
Get on the city bus

The 11 Lincoln bus approached Ashland and Belmont
The city bus was ready to move
The passengers boarded the city bus
When the stoplight turned green, the 11 Lincoln bus took off

Get on the city bus
Get on the city bus
Get on the city bus
Get on the city bus

The 11 Lincoln bus came to my stop
As I got off the bus, I told the male bus driver to shove a broomstick up his ass
He got so tired of my disharmonious bullshit
He threatened to clock a transfer puncher upside my head

Get on the city bus
Get on the city bus
Get on the city bus
Get on the city bus

CompUSA, it's the computer superstore

Good News Is Rock 'n' Roll

Found on Rush Hour

Jesus is keeping me on the road
I keep on moving
I am cruising to the nearest top

Good news
Good news
Good news
Good news is rock 'n' roll

I speeded so fast
I was moving at 90 miles per hour
I was riding like a hillbilly, thanks to that

Good news
Good news
Good news
Good news is rock 'n' roll

Johnny Inkslinger found a dog lying in the street dead
He was shot with a BB gun
He was BB'ed to death

Good news
Good news
Good news
Good news is rock 'n' roll

Folgers, it's good to the last drop

He Goes to Prison

Found on Rush Hour

Once upon a time, a drug dealer was arrested for selling dope
He was charged with selling cannabis
He was beaten to a pulp before being whisked away to jail

He goes to prison
He goes to prison
He goes to prison
He goes to prison

When John Cook went to court, he was arraigned
He was also prosecuted
Evidence showed that he was caught selling crack on the street

He goes to prison
He goes to prison
He goes to prison
He goes to prison

John Cook was found guilty of possession of cannabis
The sentencing date was set
He recieved three years in prison

He goes to prison
He goes to prison
He goes to prison
He goes to prison

Pontiac, we build excitement

He Killed a Policeman

Found on Atomic Records and Mr. Magoo Goes to Jail Vol. 3

Louie Griff killed Officer James Dudley
He shot him five times in the head with a .357 Magnum
Louie Griff was arrested by the police for first-degree murder
He was taken to the metal clink

He killed a policeman
He killed a policeman
He killed a policeman
He killed a policeman

Louie Griff went to criminal court
He was arraigned on a first-degree murder charge
He was brought to justice in the courtroom
After the James Dudley murder testimony, Louie Griff was taken back to the metal clink

He killed a policeman
He killed a policeman
He killed a policeman
He killed a policeman

The trial lasted six weeks
The verdict was reached in the courtroom
A jury convicted Louie Griff of first-degree murder in the .357 Magnum killing of Officer James Dudley
A month later, he was sentenced to 130 years in prison

He killed a policeman
He killed a policeman
He killed a policeman
He killed a policeman

Crow's Nest, it's the collector's choice

Hell Greyhound Bus Ride

Found on Dead End Street

It's Wednesday, April 2, 1997, at 12:00 PM
I took a Greyhound bus to Des Moines, Iowa
It was a six-hour profanity demon hellride
At 6:00 PM, the Greyhound bus arrived at the Des Moines bus station
Two of my music fans picked me up and drove me to Fort Dodge, Iowa

Hell Greyhound bus ride
Hell Greyhound bus ride
Hell Greyhound bus ride
Hell Greyhound bus ride

At 2:00 PM on Friday, April 4, 1997, I went on a radio show joyride
I whipped out my Technics KN3000 keyboard and sung four rock songs on 88.1 KICB
At 6:30 PM, I rode with my friends to Knights of Columbus for sound checking
At 9:30 PM, I got up on stage and sung twenty rock songs in front of 200 rock fans

Hell Greyhound bus ride
Hell Greyhound bus ride
Hell Greyhound bus ride
Hell Greyhound bus ride

At 11:20 AM on Saturday, April 5, 1997, I caught the Greyhound bus to Chicago, Illinois
The Greyhound bus left Des Moines, Iowa at 11:30 AM
It was an eight-hour profanity demon hellride without music
At 7:30 PM, the Greyhound bus arrived at the Chicago bus station
I then got off the intercity bus and yelled like a stupid fool

Hell Greyhound bus ride
Hell Greyhound bus ride
Hell Greyhound bus ride
Hell Greyhound bus ride

Kinkos, it's the new way to office

He's Doing Time in Jail

Found on Spookydisharmoniusconflicthellride and Greatest Hits

This is a song that I'm gonna rap about, and sing about
It's called that "He's Doing Time in Jail"
This is about this guy who slashed me in the face and back as I exited the 4 Cottage Grove bus
This is the dawn of a new era
So let me rap and sing about this song, as I exit the Cottage Grove bus

Once upon a time, on the 4 Cottage Grove bus
I felt like I was on the floor
I was talking to myself
Suddenly, a man in his 30s thought I was talking to him
Suddenly, he started yelling at me, talking vulgar

He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail

As he yelled at me vulgarly, I tried to tell him to shut his face
But he refused to do so!
When I was about to get up and get off the bus, that same guy whipped out a box cutter on me
He followed me to the exit door, chasing after me, as I got off the bus
That was at 4358 South Cottage Grove Avenue
He then slashed me in the face, and then in the back

He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail

When the ambulance came at the scene, I was rushed to the hospital
The police was there
That same guy who slashed me in the face and back was arrested and taken to jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail

He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail
He's doing time in jail

He's doing time in jail, Amen!

He's doing time in jail, Amen!

He's doing time in jaaaaaail

Amen!

Amen!

I Deserve a War Hell Ride

Found on Black Light Diner

Once upon a time, Dale Meiners got mad at me
He was very disappointed in me
I was bragging about doing a keyboard solo show that would not happen
At 2:00 AM on March 5, 1996, Dale Meiners gave me a war hell ride

I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride

As Dale Meiners gave me a war hell ride, I gave him a war hell ride
I told Dale Meiners to get off my case
Suddenly, I threw him against the van
I wanted to duke his scrawny ass up and smash his face at about 2:10 AM that morning

I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride

As we left the Bottleneck, me and Dale yelled at each other
He called me a fucking asshole
I called him a fucking dipstick
It was my fault for not being cool in Lawrence, Kansas that morning

I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride
I deserved a war hell ride

Budweiser, I'm proud to be your Bud

I Done a Poor Job

Found on New York, New York

It's Monday, February 5, 1996 at 11:00 AM Eastern Time
Me and my band went to East Orange, New Jersey for a WFMU radio show
It was a 40-minute trip
At 11:55 AM, me and my band pulled up by the college station

I done a poor job
I done a poor job
I done a poor job
I done a poor job

At 1:55 PM, my band ran a ground test with a riff
Fifteen minutes later, I lapsed in the sound booth
I set my rock keyboard up and played two solo songs
It was a false start

I done a poor job
I done a poor job
I done a poor job
I done a poor job

At 2:30 PM, I started rocking hard with my band
I didn't sing a perfect set
I wasted my band members' time
At 3:30 PM, Dale Meiners yelled at me for screwing up the rock set
He gave me a war hell ride as we left the radio station

I done a poor job
I done a poor job
I done a poor job
I done a poor job

Diet Pepsi, uh-huh

I Killed Your Daddy After Midnight

Found on Black Light Diner

Your daddy threw a rock at my car windshield
He broke my windshield out
I peeked out of my window and caught him messing with my steering wheel
I brandished a .38 and filled him with my .38 slugs

I killed your daddy after midnight
I killed your daddy after midnight
I killed your daddy after midnight
I killed your daddy after midnight

Your daddy was a stupid jerk
He was a fucking asshole
He had no business breaking my car windshield out and messing with my steering wheel
I caught him doing it and killed his stupid ass with my .38

I killed your daddy after midnight
I killed your daddy after midnight
I killed your daddy after midnight
I killed your daddy after midnight

At 10:00 AM, the police came to my house
I had a first-degree murder warrant on my thug ass that morning
After I killed your daddy last night, they handcuffed me and put me in the squad car
They took me to the metal clink and locked my ass up

I killed your daddy after midnight
I killed your daddy after midnight
I killed your daddy after midnight
I killed your daddy after midnight

Arbys, different is good

I Killed Your Daddy Yesterday

Found on Mr. Magoo Goes to Jail Vol. 3

Your daddy was thieving in my car
I caught him sticking his ass in my glove compartment
He tried to steal my wallet containing 700 dollars
I brandished a handgun and pumped him full of .38 slugs

I killed your daddy yesterday
I killed your daddy yesterday
I killed your daddy yesterday
I killed your daddy yesterday

Your daddy was a stupid jackass
He had no business monkeying in my glove comparment of my automobile
He tried to jack me for 700 dollars
His monkey business made me kill his stupid ass with my .38

I killed your daddy yesterday
I killed your daddy yesterday
I killed your daddy yesterday
I killed your daddy yesterday

At 4:30 PM, the squad car pulled up by my house
A first-degree murder warrant came after me
The police arrested me for killing your daddy
They took me to the metal clink and locked my ass up

I killed your daddy yesterday
I killed your daddy yesterday
I killed your daddy yesterday
I killed your daddy yesterday

Office Depot, you're taking care of business

I Murdered Your Family

Found on Mr. Magoo Goes to Jail Vol. 1

Once upon a time, I went on a murder spree
I was on a shooting rampage
I came to your house with my Smith & Wesson
I was a stupid-ass drunk when I was trigger-happy

I murdered your family
I murdered your family
I murdered your family
I murdered your family

At 12:00 midnight, I invaded your home
I capped your brother and sister
I then stalked your mom and dad with the same handgun
Suddenly, I capped both of them in the head

I murdered your family
I murdered your family
I murdered your family
I murdered your family

When the police pulled up, I was done for
They arrested me on four murder charges
They carted me off to jail
They locked me up for killing four innocent people

I murdered your family
I murdered your family
I murdered your family
I murdered your family

Ocean Spray, crave the wave

I Smoke Weed

Found on Mr. Magoo Goes to Jail Vol. 1

I am a cocaine addict
I do a lot of drugs
I smoke crack as I speak
I get my kicks doing dope

I smoke weed
I smoke weed
I smoke weed
I smoke weed

I smoke my crack pipe every day
I have a good time at it
I jack my mother for dope money
I do it by threatening her life with a semi-automatic

I smoke weed
I smoke weed
I smoke weed
I smoke weed

When the police pulled up, I was doomed
I was arrested for possession of a controlled substance
I was taken to the metal clink
I was nothing but a loser

I smoke weed
I smoke weed
I smoke weed
I smoke weed

Ford, quality is job one

I Whipped Superman's Ass

Found on Mr. Magoo Goes to Jail Vol. 1

Superman had a big "S" on his chest
He was drawing on my nerves
I got mad at his drunk ass
I gave him a war hell ride

I whipped Superman's ass
I whipped Superman's ass
I whipped Superman's ass
I whipped Superman's ass

Superman thought he was bad
He was messing with my girlfriend
I caught him in my room kissing her
I took a rubber hose and flogged his rump

I whipped Superman's ass
I whipped Superman's ass
I whipped Superman's ass
I whipped Superman's ass

Superman beat the hell out of me
He knocked me to the floor
I got back up and knocked him to the floor
Superman was being such a roughneck

I whipped Superman's ass
I whipped Superman's ass
I whipped Superman's ass
I whipped Superman's ass

Shell, it's the world's best-selling gasoline

I Wupped Batman's Ass

Found on Rock Power, Rush Hour and Greatest Hits

Batman got on my nerves
He was running me amok
He ridiculed me calling me a bum

I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass

Batman thought he was bad
He was a fucking asshole in the first place
He got knocked to the floor

I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass

Batman beat the hell out of me and knocked me to the floor
I got back up and knocked him to the floor
He was being such a jackoff

I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass
I wupped Batman's ass

Wheaties, breakfast of champions

Illinois State Police

Found on Black Light Diner

This is a highway patrol force
This highway patrol keeps our highways safe in Illinois
They do it by getting the drunk drivers off the road
They also arrest lawbreakers and put them in jail for felonies and misdemeanors

Illinois state police
Illinois state police
Illinois state police
Illinois state police

At 2:00 PM, a male state trooper pulled a gold El Dorado over
Trooper D. R. Johnson asked Clarence Weeks to show his driver's license
He smelled whiskey on Clarence Weeks' breath
Trooper D. R. Johnson arrested Clarence Weeks for D.U.I. and took him to jail

Illinois state police
Illinois state police
Illinois state police
Illinois state police

At 3:30 PM, a male state trooper pulled a drunk driver over
Trooper Jay Grant told Russell Griffin to get his ass out of the car
He found a bottle of Smirnoff vodka in Russell Griffin's car
Russell Griffin was arrested and taken to jail

Illinois state police
Illinois state police
Illinois state police
Illinois state police

Swiss Air, time is everything

I'm Running My Inkpen

Found on Greatest Hits Vol. 2

I draw so good
I draw so well
I draw so great
Right on

I'm running my inkpen
I'm running my mouth
I'm running my inkpen
I'm running my mouth

Every year, I draw two thousand posters
I do make me a lot of money
I draw all the time
I can really work my ass off

I'm running my inkpen
I'm running my mouth
I'm running my inkpen
I'm running my mouth

A lot of people like my work
They said my artwork is great
It is so fabulous
It is so grateful

I'm running my inkpen
I'm running my mouth
I'm running my inkpen
I'm running my mouth
I'm running my inkpen
I'm running my mouth
I'm running my inkpen
I'm running my mouth

Cadillac, Cadillac, Cadillac style

I'm Shooting Out Your Lights

Found on New York, New York and Prisonshake

Look out as I speak, buddy boy
I'm going to pump you full of lead
I'm going to kill you as I speak
I'm going to shoot your head off

I'm shooting out your lights
I'm shooting out your lights
I'm shooting out your lights
I'm shooting out your lights

You are going to be blown away
You are going to be killed
You are not going to see daylight
I'm going to spray you with my .38

I'm shooting out your lights
I'm shooting out your lights
I'm shooting out your lights
I'm shooting out your lights

You are going to be introduced to your grave
You are going to be deprived of your life
You are not going to see traffic again
I'm going to destroy you from this earth

I'm shooting out your lights
I'm shooting out your lights
I'm shooting out your lights
I'm shooting out your lights

Ensoniq, it's the technology that performs

I'm Slimming Down

Found on New York, New York

In 1990, I used to weigh 397 pounds
I didn't feel good about being fat
I was too fat for my height
Suddenly, I started cutting down on fatty foods

I'm slimming down
I'm slimming down
I'm slimming down
I'm slimming down

I used to eat McDonalds hamburgers
I used to eat three Big Macs a night
In 1992, I gained 23 more pounds
Suddenly, I weighed 360 pounds heavier

I'm slimming down
I'm slimming down
I'm slimming down
I'm slimming down

From now on, I'm staying away from fatty foods
I'm only eating healthy foods
I'm going to watch my weight
I will make sure not to eat too much

I'm slimming down
I'm slimming down
I'm slimming down
I'm slimming down

Allstate, you're in good hands

I'm Sorry That I Got Fat (I Will Slim Down)

Found on Spookydisharmoniusconflicthellride (live version) and Greatest Hits (studio version)

This is the song that I'm gonna rap about
It's called that "I'm Sorry That I Got Fat (I Will Slim Down)"
This is the song that is reminding me that I'm fixing to lose weight and go on a strict diet

The first time when I got fat, I was eating those fatty hamburgers, fries, and all that
That's why I'm gonna do something about it right now
And this is the song that I just wrote about "I'm Sorry That I Got Fat (I Will Slim Down)"
So here it goes right now

Before I got fat, I was slim
That was this time when I was eating McDonalds
I kept eating McDonald's for five years from 1987
To 1991
That's when I became fat; a year later, I'm doing something about it

I'm sorry that I got fat
I'm sorry that I got fat
I'm sorry that I got fat
I will slim down

I've been trying to lose weight
But it's time-taking
It's been time-taking, but I'm fixing to stay away from Wendys, Burger King, and McDonalds, plus White Castles
That's what I'm going to do, and that's that

I'm sorry that I got fat
I'm sorry that I got fat
I'm sorry that I got fat
I will slim down

I'm getting tired of eating McDonalds
That's the same as I'm tired of eating Wendys, Burger King, White Castle, and other places
Let me tell you when and how I'm losing weight

I'm sorry that I got fat
I'm sorry that I got fat
I'm sorry that I got fat
I will slim down

From now on, I'm staying away from fatty foods
And eating healthy foods
And going on a strict diet

I'm sorry that I got fat
I'm sorry that I got fat
I'm sorry that I got fat
I will slim down
I'm sorry that I got fat
I'm sorry that I got fat
I'm sorry that I got fat
I will slim down
I'm sorry that I got fat
I will slim down
I'm sorry that I got fat
I will slim down
I will slim down
I will slim down
I will slim down
I will slim down
I will slim down
I will slim down
I will slim down
I will slim down
I will slim down
I will slim down
I'm sorry that I got fat
I will slim down
Thank you

I'm the Daddy of Rock and Roll

Found on SMD Promotions

I'm the godfather of being a rock musician
I'm the godfather of singing
I'm the godfather of taking everyone on a music joyride
I love the rocket travel

I'm the daddy of rock and roll
I'm the daddy of rock and roll
I'm the daddy of rock and roll
I'm the daddy of rock and roll

I love singing in my one-man band
I love playing the joyride music that you came for
I also play my Technics KN3000
They are the brothers of my rock music

I'm the daddy of rock and roll
I'm the daddy of rock and roll
I'm the daddy of rock and roll
I'm the daddy of rock and roll

This is my rock and roll music career God gave me
God gave me this rock music career to keep my busy
Back in 1991, I used to hit old people with folding chairs
Suddenly, I moved to the north side of Chicago, Illinois in the summer of 1992
It made a rock star out of me at last

I'm the daddy of rock and roll
I'm the daddy of rock and roll
I'm the daddy of rock and roll
I'm the daddy of rock and roll

Allstate, you're in good hands

It's Against the Law

Found on Fabian Road Warrior

Don't kill people you don't know
Don't shoot them with guns
Don't rob gas stations and banks
Don't rob liquor stores elsewhere

It's against the law
It's against the law
It's against the law
It's against the law

Don't sell illegal drugs
Don't bust people in the head
Don't stick up people for money
Don't ever take things that don't belong to you

It's against the law
It's against the law
It's against the law
It's against the law

Never assault a police officer
Never threaten a security guard
Never kill a probation officer
Keep your ass out of the metal clink

It's against the law
It's against the law
It's against the law
It's against the law

Allstate, you're in good hands

Jadroplov

Found on Rev. Norb #2

Reverend Henry E. Miller kicked William Bell in the ass
He said he called him a fucking asshole and stole nine thousand dollars from his pulpit
He wanted to have him thrown in jail
He also wanted to press felony charges of robbery against him

Jadroplov
Jadroplov
Jadroplov
Jadroplov

Reverend Henry E. Miller called the police on William Bell
Twenty minutes later, a police car showed up on his ass
The preacher told the police to whisk him away to jail
The preacher pressed robbery charges against William Bell

Jadroplov
Jadroplov
Jadroplov
Jadroplov

Reverend Henry Miller went to court
He prosecuted William Bell
But eleven weeks later, a jury found William Bell not guilty of robbery
Reverend Henry Miller was mad as a motherfucker

Jadroplov
Jadroplov
Jadroplov
Jadroplov

Coke is it

John Dillard

Found on Rev. Norb #2

John Dillard was an asshole
He was a real stupid jerk
He attacked me with a box cutter as I exited the 4 Cottage Grove bus
What a stupid-ass motherfucker

John Dillard
John Dillard
John Dillard
John Dillard

At this time, I was cursing back at my mean schizophrenia voices
They were shattering me with profane language
They brought me damaging disharmony in my life
But I was sorry for my bullshit

John Dillard
John Dillard
John Dillard
John Dillard

This incident happened on August 31, 1991 at 10:00 PM on a Saturday night
I rode the 4 Cottage Grove bus talking back to my mean voices
Suddenly, John Dillard mistook my curses as an insult
He whipped out a box cutter on me and followed me to the exit door
He chased after me as I got off the bus, slashing me in the face and back

John Dillard
John Dillard
John Dillard
John Dillard

The Exclusive Company, save with me

Kill That Jerk

Found on New York, New York

Shoot that bastard's ass with a 12-gauge
Shoot him in the head
Pop his ass with bullets
Murder that son of a bitch

Kill that jerk
Kill that jerk
Kill that jerk
Kill that jerk

Shoot him full of holes
Blow his freaking head off
Dumpster his ass after you kill him
Throw his body in the ditch
Escape your ass in the getaway car

Kill that jerk
Kill that jerk
Kill that jerk
Kill that jerk

Blast that stupid punk as I speak
Deprive him of his everlasting life
Introduce him to his early grave
Put him out of existance completely

Kill that jerk
Kill that jerk
Kill that jerk
Kill that jerk

Ford, quality is job one

Kill Whitey

Found on Wesley Willis

Note: In the April 25, 2001 edition of The New York Post, Steve Dunleavy wrote an editorial called "Let's legally end abuse of freedom of speech." In a sidebar entitled "Lyrics of Loathing," Wesley Willis' song "Kill Whitey" was featured. The lyrics appeared as follows: You are a no-good rotten bum. You are a good-for-nothing scatterbrain. You bring damaging disharmony in my life by cussing at me for no reason at all. Kill Whitey Kill Whitey Kill Whitey Kill Whitey.

If Dunleavy had done his his homework, he would know that Wesley's willis music is the farthest from "hate lyrics" one could find, unless one considers anti-mean-schizophrenia-demon-music "hate lyrics."

It's also interesting to note that the Post used the incorrect lyric "scatterbrain," (instead of "scalawag") which I until recently had posted on this site. Though I shudder to think that this website was a party to such a shitty piece of "journalism," I fear that's the case.

You are no good
You are a fucking asshole
You are a real jerk
You are a miserable creep

Kill Whitey
Kill Whitey
Kill Whitey
Kill Whitey

You are full of shit
You are a no-good rotten bum
You are a good-for-nothing scalawag
You bring me damaging disharmony in my life by cussing at me for no reason at all

Kill Whitey
Kill Whitey
Kill Whitey
Kill Whitey

You are full of dog shit
You are a stupid mother fucker
You are a low down schmuck
So suck a camel's ass, you mother fucker!

Kill Whitey
Kill Whitey
Kill Whitey
Kill Whitey

Duracell, no other battery lasts longer

Kiss My Black Ass

Found on Mr. Magoo Goes to Jail Vol. 1

Ram a broomstick up your ass
Jump your ass in the lake
Get the hell away from around here
Leave the premesis before I put you in jail

Kiss my black ass
Kiss my black ass
Kiss my black ass
Kiss my black ass

You are a dirty low-down scumbag
You are a jerk to me
You think I'm an asshole
You need to leave me alone with your war hell ride, punk!

Kiss my black ass
Kiss my black ass
Kiss my black ass
Kiss my black ass

You are drug seller
You are a crackhead as I speak
You are a miserable creep
Here's what you do for me:
Stick your ghetto dope up your ass!

Kiss my black ass
Kiss my black ass
Kiss my black ass
Kiss my black ass

Sprite, obey your thirst

Kris Kringle Was a Car Thief

Found on Greatest Hits

Once upon a time, Kris Kringle stole a beat-up Maverick parked by my house
He used a screwdriver to jimmy the lock
After that, he then jumped into the stolen car and started up the motor
He drove away the stolen car in hot pursuit

Kris Kringle
Kris Kringle
Kris Kringle
Kris Kringle
Kris Kringle was a car thief

Kris Kringle sped down West Fullerton Avenue in hot pursuit looking for hookers
He was firewalling the throttle
When the Chicago police officers spotted the stolen Maverick as it zoomed past them, they turned on their siren
Then they went after the beat-up stolen Maverick

Kris Kringle
Kris Kringle
Kris Kringle
Kris Kringle
Kris Kringle was a car thief

The police pulled Kris Kringle over
Kris Kringle tried to escape from the police
He was arrested for auto theft
He was whisked away to jail

Kris Kringle
Kris Kringle
Kris Kringle
Kris Kringle
Kris Kringle was a car thief

Kris Kringle was a car thief

Kris Kringle was a car thief
Kris Kringle was a car thief

Mitsubishi, the word is getting around

Kurt Cobain

Found on Prisonshake, Rock 'n' Roll Will Never Die, and Shake Your Piggy Bank

All right, let's rock it to Russia

Kurt Cobain was a rock singer for Nirvana
He rocked the United States by flying all over the country and playing that rock and roll
He is a good singer
He is my rock star

Kurt Cobain
Kurt Cobain
Kurt Cobain
Kurt Cobain

Nirvana's 1991 Nevermind album, which has sold more then ten million copies, turned Kurt Cobain into a spokesman for his generation
It is a mantle with which he was never comfortable
He can really rock like a magikist
He can really play that rock and roll

Kurt Cobain
Kurt Cobain
Kurt Cobain
Kurt Cobain

Upon its release last September, In Utero shot to number one on the pop chart
There were signs of trouble when the band played two concerts at the Aragon in Chicago
The first show was a triumph
It was a knockout

Kurt Cobain
Kurt Cobain
Kurt Cobain
Kurt Cobain

Timex, it takes a licking and keeps on ticking

Larry Nevers / Walter Budzyn

Found on Greatest Hits

Two former police officers were sentenced to lengthy prison terms for the murder of an unemployed steel worker outside a crack house here last year
Larry Nevers, 52, received 25 years in jail for his role in the fatal beating of 35 year old Malice Green
His partner, Walter Budzyn, 47, was given a prison term of 18 years
They were both whisked away to jail

Larry Nevers
Walter Budzyn
Larry Nevers
Walter Budzyn

"What you did was excessive in the extreme!" recorded court Judge George W. Crockett III told Larry Nevers in handing down his sentences
The case, which has parallels to the 1991 police beating of black motorist Rodney King in Los Angeles, split Detroit along racial lines
Many in the black community wanted the maximum sentence of life imprisonment for the two white officers whom they described as "out of control"
The two officers were convicted of second degree murder August 23 by separate juries at the end of their 11 week trial

Larry Nevers
Walter Budzyn
Larry Nevers
Walter Budzyn

Larry Nevers and Walter Budzyn were on a stakeout for an armed robbery suspect last November outside a west side crack house
They stopped to question Malice Green
Malice Green was asked for his driver's license
Suddenly, he was beaten upside his head with two flashlights
An autopsy determined that Malice Green died from 14 blows to his head

Larry Nevers
Walter Budzyn
Larry Nevers
Walter Budzyn

Mitsubishi, the word is getting around

Liz Phair

Found on Daren Hacker and Rock 'n' Roll Will Never Die

You are a rock star
You are a rock and roll girl
You are a good rock singer
I like you a lot

Liz Phair
Liz Phair
Liz Phair
Liz Phair

You are so pretty like a flower
You are my lovely lady
You are so beautiful
You are my loving sweetheart

Liz Phair
Liz Phair
Liz Phair
Liz Phair

You are too good to be true
You are the girl of my dreams
Just remember this meaning:
I will always love you like a milkshake

Liz Phair
Liz Phair
Liz Phair
Liz Phair

Tower Records, the difference is selection

Make Sure I'm Out Screwing Up

Found on Metal Clink Punishment Jail and Greatest Hits Vol. 2

Rail a filthy vulgarity hell ride at me
Shoot my harmony joyride music down
Turn me away so I can't catch any Pace joy bus routes
Keep me stuck in the pain chamber of Chicago, Illinois

Make sure I'm out screwing up
Make sure I'm out screwing up
Make sure I'm out screwing up
Make sure I'm out screwing up

Torment me with lies in front of my friends
Call me a fucking bum like I'm a con man
Call me a fucking jerk like I'm a rapist
Call me a fucking asshole like I'm an arsonist
Take me on a series of war hell rides with every CTA bus ride

Make sure I'm out screwing up
Make sure I'm out screwing up
Make sure I'm out screwing up
Make sure I'm out screwing up

Rough me up so I can holler like a damn fool
Get me arrested and taken to jail by the Chicago police
Make me bust my portable CD player to smithereens
Kill all my good time music
Turn my Sunday sightseeing bus tour into a nerve-shattering hell ride

Make sure I'm out screwing up
Make sure I'm out screwing up
Make sure I'm out screwing up
Make sure I'm out screwing up

Spirit, it's the next British invasion

Merry Christmas

Christmas is a fun time
It is a fun time every December
It is also a joy month
I like this holiday a lot

Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas

Christmas is a fun time to get gifts
People stay home for the holidays
They spend time with their children
That's what it is all about

Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas

Christmas makes people feel right at home
Christmas gives me harmonization
Christmas is Jesus Christ's birthday
That's what it is all about in the mix

Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas

Allstate, you're in good hands

Michael Jackson

Though Wesley sings this song frequently at live shows, he has never put it on a CD. Gee, I wonder why?

You are a homosexual to the max
You are a professional cock sucker in the mix
You are a child molester
You love sucking little boys' dicks

Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson

You are a professional cock sucker in hell
You are a professional cock sucker to Satan
You are a boot-licker to Satan
You love sucking little boys' asses and dicks

Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson

You should be ashamed of yourself
You know you are so talented
Why don't you stop being a homosexual
Stop molesting little boys you freak!

Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson

Carson's, it's the place for ribs

My Daddy Got Me High

Found on Mr. Magoo Goes to Jail Vol. 1

Once upon a time, I started smoking crack at age thirty
My daddy started me on it
I got my kicks doing drugs
Here's what I have to say:

My daddy got me high
My daddy got me high
My daddy got me high
My daddy got me high

My daddy enjoys smoking crack
He had a good time at it
He used the paraphenelia pipe to smoke his mind into orbit
That's what he has done

My daddy got me high
My daddy got me high
My daddy got me high
My daddy got me high

When the police pulled up, my daddy was doomed
He was arrested and taken to jail
He was charged with possession of a controlled substance
He was an asshole and a loser

My daddy got me high
My daddy got me high
My daddy got me high
My daddy got me high

Taco Bell, make a run for the border

My Mother Smokes Crack Rocks

Found on Rock 'N' Roll Jackflash

My mother is a dope fiend
My mother smokes paraphenelia as I speak
My mother buys cocaine from a dope man
She loves to smoke that crack pipe

My mother smokes crack rocks
My mother smokes crack rocks
My mother smokes crack rocks
My mother smokes crack rocks

My mother smoked that crack like a cigar
She had a good time at it
She jacks my brother for dope money
She does it by threatening him with a Smith & Wesson

My mother smokes crack rocks
My mother smokes crack rocks
My mother smokes crack rocks
My mother smokes crack rocks

At 11:00 PM, the police came to my mother's house to eject her
They arrested my mother for possession of a controlled substance
My mother was taken to the metal clink
They locked her up for being a loser

My mother smokes crack rocks
My mother smokes crack rocks
My mother smokes crack rocks
My mother smokes crack rocks

Remco, it's the go-ahead-and-get-it store

Nirvana

Found on Prisonshake and Rock 'n' Roll Will Never Die

This band played at the Aragon Ballroom
About 5,000 people were at the show
The concert was awesome
It was a knockout

Nirvana
Nirvana
Nirvana
Nirvana

The band played it on the screen
They played it well
The crowd roared like a lion
The jam was terrific

Nirvana
Nirvana
Nirvana
Nirvana

The show was a rock and roller
Last month, Kurt Cobain overdosed on alcohol and prescription sedatives while the band was touring Europe
He fell into a coma
He then recovered, and returned to Seattle, Washington to rest

Nirvana
Nirvana
Nirvana
Nirvana

Walgreen's, it's the pharmacy America trusts

Northwest Airlines

Found on Drag Disharmony Hell Ride and Greatest Hits

Once upon a time, I took an airplane
I went to San Diego, California
That was a three-hour trip
I enjoyed myself, flying in the air

Northwest Airlines
Northwest Airlines
Northwest Airlines
Northwest Airlines
Northwest Airlines

While I was in the air, I had fun
The airplane was at an altitude of 35,000 feet
It was a long trip
It was a fun flight

Northwest Airlines
Northwest Airlines
Northwest Airlines
Northwest Airlines
Northwest Airlines

The people on the airplane were nice
I chatted with them a lot
I was having a fun time
It was a good flight

Northwest Airlines
Northwest Airlines
Northwest Airlines
Northwest Airlines
Northwest Airlines

American Airlines, we mean business in Chicago

Oil Express

Found on Greatest Hits Vol. 2

Once upon a time, I drove my car to the station
I was getting my oil change
They done it in thirty minutes
They did a good job of changing my oil

Oil Express
Oil Express
Oil Express
Oil Express
Oil Express

The oil change cost me fifteen dollars
The price was very affordable
The job was done
It was done right

Oil Express
Oil Express
Oil Express
Oil Express
Oil Express

The oil change was finished
I was back on the road again
I was driving down the lane
I was firewalling the throttle!

Oil Express
Oil Express
Oil Express
Oil Express
Oil Express

Allstate, you're in good hands

Oprah Winfrey

Found on Rock Power

You are a movie star
You are a rich woman
You are a talk show queen
You are so sweet as Domino sugar

Oprah Winfrey
Oprah Winfrey
Oprah Winfrey
Oprah Winfrey

You are so pretty like a flower
You are a cute woman
You are a smart woman
You can really flap your yap off

Oprah Winfrey
Oprah Winfrey
Oprah Winfrey
Oprah Winfrey

You are too good to be true
You so talented doing the Oprah Winfrey Show
You can really make an honest dollar at Harpo Studios

Oprah Winfrey
Oprah Winfrey
Oprah Winfrey
Oprah Winfrey

Johnny Rockets, it's the original hamburger

Outburst

Found on Rush Hour and Greatest Hits

My yelling got me put out of the art store
The voices in my head cussed at me
I was yelling like a wild animal
I felt like a jackass screaming at the top of my lungs

Outburst
Outburst
Outburst
Outburst
Outburst

Jim Simm got on my ass for screaming like a wild animal at Genesis on Western
I freaked out a lot of customers
I also said "suck my dick" in front of a lot of people

Outburst
Outburst
Outburst
Outburst
Outburst

I was warned that if I have another psychotic outburst, I would be barred out of Genesis for life
A chronic schizophrenia attack happens every time I speak my word
Then I start screaming

Outburst
Outburst
Outburst
Outburst
Outburst

Be a pepper, drink Dr. Pepper

Plug Me Full of Holes

Found on Dr. Wax

Pull out a .38 caliber revolver
Aim that weapon at me
Plunder me of my money
Hit me with a gunshot

Plug me full of holes
Plug me full of holes
Plug me full of holes
Plug me full of holes

Level a gun at my head
Pull the goddamn trigger
Blow my fucking head off
Snuff the lights out of me

Plug me full of holes
Plug me full of holes
Plug me full of holes
Plug me full of holes

Introduce me to my grave
Take my everlasting life with a pistol
Destroy my ass from the earth completely
Dumpster my body, mothafucka!

Plug me full of holes
Plug me full of holes
Plug me full of holes
Plug me full of holes

?? Country, it's the ?? choice

Rock and Roll McDonalds

Found on Greatest Hits

McDonalds is the place to rock
It is a restaurant where they buy food to eat
It is a good place to listen to the music
People flock here to get down to the rock music

Rock and Roll McDonalds
Rock and Roll McDonalds
Rock and Roll McDonalds
Rock and Roll McDonalds

McDonalds will make you fat
They serve Big Macs
They serve Quarter-Pounders
They will put pounds on you

Rock and Roll McDonalds
Rock and Roll McDonalds
Rock and Roll McDonalds
Rock and Roll McDonalds

McDonalds hamburgers are the worst
They are worse than Burger King
A Big Mac has 26 grams of fat
A Quarter-Pounder has 28 grams of fat

Rock and Roll McDonalds
Rock and Roll McDonalds
Rock and Roll McDonalds
Rock and Roll McDonalds

Wheaties, breakfast of champions

Rock Saddam Hussein's Ass

Found on Fabian Road Warrior

Play that rock lead guitar
Rock it like a magikist
Rock and roll is the joyride music
Whip that snow leopard's ass

Rock Saddam Hussein's ass
Rock Saddam Hussein's ass
Rock Saddam Hussein's ass
Rock Saddam Hussein's ass

Play that Westone guitar
Rock it to the break of dawn
Rock in on the mic in front of 50,000 people
Rock the jam session on Saddam Hussein

Rock Saddam Hussein's ass
Rock Saddam Hussein's ass
Rock Saddam Hussein's ass
Rock Saddam Hussein's ass

Play the rock solo as hard as you can
Make the crowd roar like a tidal wave
Rock the jam session on a good free will
Whip the hell out of that snow leopard's ass

Rock Saddam Hussein's ass
Rock Saddam Hussein's ass
Rock Saddam Hussein's ass
Rock Saddam Hussein's ass

TCBY, it's the country's best yogurt

Run, Westy, Run

Found on Wesley Willis

This band played at the Metro
About 800 people were at the show
The rock show was awesome
The rock and roll was a burnout

Run, Westy, Run
Run, Westy, Run
Run, Westy, Run
Run, Westy, Run

The band played it on
The band got down like a magikist
The crowd roared like a lion
The jam was excellent
The show was wupping a horse's ass

Run, Westy, Run
Run, Westy, Run
Run, Westy, Run
Run, Westy, Run

The show was over
A lot of people met the band
The rock show was out of this world
The jam session was perfect

Run, Westy, Run
Run, Westy, Run
Run, Westy, Run
Run, Westy, Run

Denny's, it's more for your money

Shoot Me in the Ass

Found on Feel the Power and Mr. Magoo Goes to Jail Vol. 2

Reach in your pocket for a handgun
Level it at my bootyhole
Pull the trigger on me
Hit me with a gunshot

Shoot me in the ass
Shoot me in the ass
Shoot me in the ass
Shoot me in the ass

Plug me full of holes in my bootyhole
Fill me full of lead in my asscrack
Take my life away from this earth
Blow my ass away from this world

Shoot me in the ass
Shoot me in the ass
Shoot me in the ass
Shoot me in the ass

Introduce me to my grave
Deprive me of my everlasting life
Blow me off the face of this earth
Leave me lying on the street corner dead

Shoot me in the ass
Shoot me in the ass
Shoot me in the ass
Shoot me in the ass

Budweiser, it's the king of beers

Spank Wagon

Found on Fabian Road Warrior

This band played at the Metro
About 900 people were at the show
The jam session was awesome
It whipped a horse's ass

Spank Wagon
Spank Wagon
Spank Wagon
Spank Wagon

The band played it on at the show
The band got down as they stormed the stage
The crowd roared like a lion
The public jam session wupped a horse's ass

Spank Wagon
Spank Wagon
Spank Wagon
Spank Wagon

The rock show was over at last
A lot of people met the band
The rock show was awesome
It was a-wupping on a horse's ass

Spank Wagon
Spank Wagon
Spank Wagon
Spank Wagon

Equitable, it's the power over tomorrow

Stop the Violence

Found on Drag Disharmony Hell Ride and Greatest Hits Vol. 2

Stop killing innocent people
Stop killing police officers
Stop shooting at policemen
Stop shooting bystanders with handguns

Stop the violence
Stop the violence
Stop the violence
Stop the violence

Stop shooting old ladies
Stop beating up FBI agents
Stop killing the postal workers
Stop shooting at cops
Keep your ass out of jail

Stop the violence
Stop the violence
Stop the violence
Stop the violence

Stop raping women for crying out loud
Stop killing little kids
Keep yourself out of prison
Stay the hell out of trouble

Stop the violence
Stop the violence
Stop the violence
Stop the violence

Pioneer, it's the art of entertainment

Suck a Cheetah's Dick

Found on Mr. Magoo Goes to Jail Vol. 3

Suck a polar bear's funky ass!
Suck a racehorse's cock with Heinz Tomato Ketchup!
Suck a donkey's shitty ass!
Suck a male camel's dick with Hoisen sauce!

Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick

Suck a European bison's smelly ass!
Suck a woolly mammoth's dick with Miracle Whip!
Suck a snow leopard's ass with whip cream!
Suck a hyena's spermy dick!

Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick

Suck a llama's shitty asshole!
Suck a panda bear's spermy nutsack!
Suck a sloth bear's bootyhole!
Suck a greyhound's musty ass, mothafucka!

Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick
Suck a cheetah's dick

Polaroid, see what develops

Suck My Dog's Dick

Found on Dr. Wax

Lick a camel's ass
Lick a moose's dick
Suck my doggy's cock
Suck a honey badger's ass

Suck my dog's dick
Suck my dog's dick
Suck my dog's dick
Suck my dog's dick

Suck a racehorse's bootyhole
Suck a snow leopard's ass
Suck a ?? dog's dick
Suck my doberman pincher's cock

Suck my dog's dick
Suck my dog's dick
Suck my dog's dick
Suck my dog's dick

Suck a ?? dick
Suck a llama's balls
Suck a jackass's dick
Suck a buffalo's ass, fucking jerk!

Suck my dog's dick
Suck my dog's dick
Suck my dog's dick
Suck my dog's dick

Goose Island, it's Chicago's crab drawer

They Threw Me Out of Church

Found on Greatest Hits Vol .2

Once upon a time, I was cursing in Daniel's Chapel A.M.E. Zion Church
I called one of the deacons a motherfucker
Reverend Henry E. Miller preached about my vulgar language
He told the congregation in the sanctuary that I got a nasty filthy mouth

They threw me out of church
They threw me out of church
They threw me out of church
They threw me out of church

For the second time, I told the preacher to fuck off
I also told Reverend Henry E. Miller to suck a male camel's dick
He got so tired of my bullshit
He told one of the deacons to throw me out
He then escorted me to the door

They threw me out of church
They threw me out of church
They threw me out of church
They threw me out of church

When I went to church that same Sunday, I picked up a 2 x 4
I went up to the pulpit and clocked the preacher in the head
He fell to the floor unconscious
Suddenly, the police was called on me
I then ran out of the church with a grin on my face being chased after by the cops

They threw me out of church
They threw me out of church
They threw me out of church
They threw me out of church
They threw me out of church

Diet Pepsi, uh-huh

Vampire Bat

Found on Rush Hour and Greatest Hits

Once up on a time a man was attacked by a vampire bird
He was sucked to death
The vampire bird killed him at last

Vampire bat
Vampire bat
Vampire bat
Vampire bat
Vampire bat

The lake of fire tore his ass up
He was burning to the crisp
He was cast into the lake of burning flame

Vampire bat
Vampire bat
Vampire bat
Vampire bat
Vampire bat

After the vampire bird sucked blood out of me, he started stabbing me in my ass
Then three more vampire birds stabbed me in my ass too
They sucked the blood out of me, killing me

Vampire bat
Vampire bat
Vampire bat
Vampire bat
Vampire bat

Folgers, it's good to the last drop

The Vultures Ate My Dead Ass Up

Found on Rush Hour and Greatest Hits Vol. 2

Once upon a time, a team of hungry birds came down on a dead body
It was a dead deer
They sucked it deep into the dead deer
The vultures were hungry

The vultures, the vultures
The vultures, the vultures
The vultures
Ate my dead ass up

The vultures ate the deer like it was going out of style
They were eating on the skull
They were eating like dogs

The vultures, the vultures
The vultures, the vultures
The vultures
Ate my dead ass up

The vultures took off like a jet plane
They were flying United
They were flying at 150 miles per hour
They were flying like an airplane

The vultures, the vultures
The vultures, the vultures
The vultures
Ate my dead ass up
The vultures
Ate my dead ass up
The vultures
Ate my dead ass up
The vultures
Ate my dead ass up

Wheaties, breakfast of champions

Walter Willis Shabazz

Found on Reverend Norb No. 2 and SMD Promotions

You are my father
I am your son
I love you a lot
You are on my side

Walter Willis Shabazz
Walter Willis Shabazz
Walter Willis Shabazz
Walter Willis Shabazz

You are a nice man
You are a good man
You are the greatest man of all
You are a good daddy

Walter Willis Shabazz
Walter Willis Shabazz
Walter Willis Shabazz
Walter Willis Shabazz

You are my godfather
I am your godson
I told my friends about how nice you are
You really are a nice man

Walter Willis Shabazz
Walter Willis Shabazz
Walter Willis Shabazz
Walter Willis Shabazz

Rice-a-Roni, it's the San Francisco Treat

Wesley Willis

Found on Fabian Road Warrior

I am a good person to the max
I am a good guy in Jesus' name
I am a brilliant young man
I am so handsome like Gretel

Wesley Willis
Wesley Willis
Wesley Willis
Wesley Willis

I am a rock soloist
I am a rock singer on the Wesley Willis Fiasco
I am a cityscape skyscraper artist
I am a working class dog

Wesley Willis
Wesley Willis
Wesley Willis
Wesley Willis

I am a nice guy in Jesus' name
I have a mean schizophrenia demon in my head
My demon racks me with profanity
My demon tells me lies and says I'm a jerk, a bum and an asshole
My demon keeps me from joy bus riding by torturing me

Wesley Willis
Wesley Willis
Wesley Willis
Wesley Willis

Kinkos, it's the copy center

The Wesley Willis Fiasco

Found on Rush Hour

When I had a show at the Ludlow, I was getting down on stage
About 35,000 people watched the show
The crowed roared

The Wesley Willis Fiasco
The Wesley Willis Fiasco
The Wesley Willis Fiasco
The Wesley Willis Fiasco
The Wesley Willis Fiasco

I jammed like a Texas hillbilly
I also got down to my knees
I was spinning my top around like a Texas twister

The Wesley Willis Fiasco
The Wesley Willis Fiasco
The Wesley Willis Fiasco
The Wesley Willis Fiasco
The Wesley Willis Fiasco

The KKK BB'ed Dole to death
They BB'ed him because he was prejudiced
They also persecuted his ass
Finally, they got rid of him

The Wesley Willis Fiasco
The Wesley Willis Fiasco
The Wesley Willis Fiasco
The Wesley Willis Fiasco
The Wesley Willis Fiasco
The Wesley Willis Fiasco
The Wesley Willis Fiasco
The Wesley Willis Fiasco

For all you do, this Bud's for you

You Better Find My Pistol

Smith & Wesson

Found on SMD Promotions

WHERE'S MY SMITH & WESSON?!?
What did you do with it?
Find my Smith & Wesson or else
If you don't search for it, I'm going to crack your head with my karate stick

You better find my pistol
You better find my pistol
You better find my pistol
You better find my pistol

Where did you hide my Smith & Wesson?
Where did you hide it at?
I know one thing, you asshole
Find my pistol, or I'll crack your head with my karate stick

You better find my pistol
You better find my pistol
You better find my pistol
You better find my pistol

Look it your closet for my Smith & Wesson
Look in your dresser drawer for it
My Smith & Wesson better come up
If it doesn't come up, I'm going to crack your skull and put you in the hospital

You better find my pistol
You better find my pistol
You better find my pistol
You better find my pistol

McDonalds, what you want is what you get
Comments, questions, or corrections? Email mike@bigplanet.com


This page last modified 5 February 2002